Author: annayin

•  haiku by Anna Yin, Photo by ShiYing

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Work by Janice Zhang, photo by GuanTao

Participants were provided photos/pictures/personal items to choose to write their stories or feelings.

Here was the photo Janice chose and she wrote a poem in 5 minutes at Our Stories Co-creating and Sharing workshop.

Window by the Sea
By: Janice Zhang
2017-08-10

 

I want to escape from ordinary life
And fly like the seagulls
They free their mind and soar
While the stars shine so bright

So what if I can’t flee?
Then, watch the tide and the heaven collide
Through my window by the sea

I , can always daydream
——— of you

And this gave us opportunities to co-create the following:

I want to escape from this ordinary life
And fly afar like the seagulls.
From dawn to night they soar
While the stars shine so bright.

But what if I can’t flee?
Through my window by the sea
I watch tide and heaven collide

And no one can stop 
my daydream

of you

 

---

2.

Love Haiku Poems
By: Janice Zhang

Holding my breath
Alone in a snowy night
I wait for the sound of key turn

————————–

Moon river –
When fingers are swimming
On a woman’s skin

————————–

The moon is asleep
The cricket sound faded
Pounding heartbeats

Suggested to revise and Co-created as the following:

holding breath
alone on a snowy night
I wait for the key to turn

————————–

moon river –
fingers sliding
the curve of her skin
————————–

a dozing moon
cricket songs fade
pounding heartbeats
——————————

七律 尼亚加拉大瀑布 by Tony Wu

 
美加边界此中分，倒海翻江铁骑闻。
巨幕低垂连异域，彩虹高掛串浮云。
飞流万载未停步，通贯五湖皆入群。
自古传名冠世界，谁人天下不知君。

骑—读寄，去声

Niagara Great Falls
8—line poem with 7 characters

Divided America and Canada in two sides,
Tumbling like oceans and rivers, loud as passing strong cavalry like,
Huge curtain falls down joining two countries,
Rainbow strings flowing clouds high in the sky.
Falling tens of thousand years never stop,
Group Great Lakes together of five.
Number one in the world since history,
Every one knows you under the sky.

Suggested to revise and Co-created as the following:

Dividing America and Canada making two sides,
Tumbling as ocean, loud as a passing cavalry,
Huge curtain cascades down joining two countries,
Rainbow bridge tossing clouds high in the sky.
Falling tens of thousands of years, never stopping,
Five Great Lakes rolling and connected together.
Number one in the world in history,
Who does not know you under the sky?

————————————————

Films and documentation by Hunter:

1. 20171014-Poetry Workshop: Share your stories Led by Richard Greene

2. Our Stories Co-creating and sharing project at HSK led by Phoebe Wang and Tony Li at HSK
3. Video interview: http://ccnews.ca/index.php/tv-movies/entertainment/item/6928-anna
4. Our Stories Co-creating and sharing project at HSK for summer camp (Aug 2)

 

 

More works by Anna Yin

The Flute In the Wind and the Traveler by Anna Yin

The flute in my case could not wait any more,
she popped up and rolled out into an open field.
Lying among daisies, she sang the wind’s whispers
and mirrored the moonlight’s glimmer.

A traveler stopped for her song.
He bent down and picked her up.
Feeling her coldness, he cupped her in his hands.
Her song paused, yet her skin’s color returned.

For a moment, she felt his fingers melt her,
and vibrated when he put lips closer.
And I wanted to know what happened next,
but could not, as I, the case, was left behind.

 

A Compass Rose by Anna Yin

 

MEMORY by Sajeda Manzoor

 

Thoughts wander
Time surrenders
Sometimes it haunts
Childhood memories
 

The past whispers
It is the cycle of life
The caterpillar becomes a butterfly
 

She waits for the sunshine
When it touches her soft body
She turns into a butterfly
 

Flapping her wings and toward the sky
She flies high and high
Among flowers she sings and wanders
She enjoys her new-born wings
 

She thanks to thy Lord
I am no more a wiggly thing
I am a colourful butterfly
I can fly high above the sky.    

 

 

 

For 2018 Robert Burns meets Chinese New Year night, (Jan 22, 2018), I was asked to prepare for Chinese poetry… So I chose some and asked my friends to share their thoughts, here are some good discussions from one of my friends and poets ( Leslie Yang): The three versions of this poem have their own merits and defects.

尋尋覓覓，冷冷清清， 淒淒慘慘戚戚。
①So dim, so dark,/So dense, so dull,/So damp, so dank,/So dead!
林运用双声和头韵，以“d”开头的八个形容词译出,的确是黄昏细雨无可奈何孤单的境地,堪称绝译。最后以“dead”一词收住,完美地体现了原词意思上的递进。但译文中遗失了“寻寻觅觅”词人似乎在寻觅什么但也寻觅不到的空虚心境。
②I look for what I miss; /I know not what it is. /I feel so sad, so drear, /So lonely, without cheer.
许一、二行用相同句式，三、四行用重复句型，且押aabb的韵，体现词人寂苦无告的凄凉心境。遗憾的是“without cheer”略感累赘，未免有凑韵之嫌。
③Lonely and lonesome, bleak and bitter, Deep in dreary thoughts I missed you miserably so.
曾为了忠实原文的韵，巧妙地运用相近的词来代替，但仍然未达到林的译文韵味。

乍暖還寒時候， 最難將息。 三杯兩盞淡酒， 怎敵他、晚來風急？
①The weather, now warm, now cold, Makes it harder .Than ever to forget! /How can a few cups of thin wine /Bring warmth
against /The chilly winds of sunset?
②How hard is it To keep me fit In this lingering cold! /By cup on cup /Of wine so dry /Oh, how could I /Endure at dusk the drift /
Of wind so swift?
③In a season when warmth could suddenly a chill become, /Unable to rest was a weary soul./ How could light wine of two or three pours / Fend off a rush of wind in the late hours?
原文用反问句式，反诘的口吻写风急引起了词人的哀愁。曾译文为了完整表达，显得冗长，失去了诗歌的精炼，更像散文体。林、许译文保留了反问句式，语气和原文旗鼓相当。“敌”字以“cope with”和“endure”译出，力度则显不足。林巧用介词“against”，取得了异曲同工的效果。

雁過也，正傷心， 卻是舊時相識。
①I recognize the geese flying overhead: My old friends, Bring not the old memories back!
②It breaks my heart, alas, To see the wild geese pass, For they are my acquaintances of old.
③As wild geese flew by, in sorrow I dwelled, /And remembered how I had seen them before.
三个版本的译文中，许的译文虽然是意译，但英文表达最贴切。林的译文更像流行歌曲的歌词。曾的译文比较接近原文表达。

滿地黃花堆積。 憔悴損、如今有誰堪摘？
①Let fallen flowers lie where they fall./To what purpose/And for whom should I decorate?
②The ground is covered with yellow flowers, /Faded and fallen in showers./Who will pick them up now?
③ On grounds in piles were petals of yellow. /Wilting in grief, who’d these flowers pick?
词人见黄菊花凋零，不堪入目，想到自己身世寥落，无人怜爱不由感慨万千。林的“fallen flowers”过笼统。比较下，许译“yellow flowers”较忠实。曾译文相对简洁也忠于原意。许用“showers”表示黄花堆积，既形象生动又与下句中的“now”押韵，堪称佳译。

守著窗兒， 獨自怎生得黑？
①By the window shut,/Guarding it alone,/To see the sky has turned so black!
②Sitting alone at the window, how/Could I but quicken/ The pace of darkness that won’t thicken?
③By the window I pined, /In solitude how could I while away the day till darkness arrived?
Could I bear alone the sight until it is dark? 词人孤苦一人，冷清寂寞就连熬到天黑都觉不易。《金粟词话》称其“用浅俗之语，发清新之思，词意并工，闺情绝调”。林译是说天色已经变得漆黑，与原词的意境相去甚远。许、曾较好地体现了原词的意境，尤其是许词语的选择和意境的烘托都更胜一筹。

梧桐更兼細雨， 到黃昏、點點滴滴。
①And the drizzle on the kola nut/Keeps on droning:/Pit-a-pat, pit-a-pat!
②On plane’s broad leaves a fine rain drizzles/As twilight grizzles.
③Drizzle through phoenix trees fell, /At twilight, drops and drips dribbled and rolled.
“点点滴滴”写出了秋雨的淅沥绵密。许、曾二人的译文押韵，达到了“音美”，且保留了原文的意境，但说到生动传神当推林译。用“Droning”恰当描绘秋雨的低沉单调；拟声词“Pit-a-pat, pit-a-pat”的运用更令人拍案叫绝，形象地描摹了“点点滴滴”的秋雨。

這次第，怎一個、愁字了得！
①Is this the kind of mood and moment /To be expressed
②By one word “sad”? Oh, what can I do with a grief/Beyond belief!
③In fall, how could sorrow possibly spell a melancholy overflow!
“这次第”三字将全文一笔收住，“怎一个愁字了得”则不难令人想像处于国破、家败、人亡中的词人是何等的孤寂、痛苦！三种译文均保留原文的反问句式，如实再现词人当时的心境；而且借助脚韵、头韵等语音修辞，进一步再现原文音韵美。

结论： 以上三种译文各有所长，堪称大家手笔，当然也存在尚需改进之处。林译于音、形、意上均有顾及，且不乏生动传神之笔，有些地方甚至达到了“青出于蓝而胜于蓝”的境界，但“创译”甚多，需提高忠实性。许通过变通和补偿较好地再现了原文的音美、形美和意美，比较像一首翻译的英文诗。曾译大致体现了原文的形美和音美，不足之处是每行音节过多，而且“阐释”的译法时有所见，缺乏原词的委婉含蓄之美，淡化了诗意。

A Red, Red Rose                   Robert Burns

我的爱人像朵红红的玫瑰     （王佐良  译）

O, my Luve’s like a red, red rose,
That’s newly sprung in June.
O, my Luve’s like a melodie
That’s sweetly play’d in tune.

呵，我的爱人像朵红红的玫瑰
六月里迎风初开；
呵，我的爱人像支甜甜的曲子，
奏得合拍又和谐。

As fair as thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will love thee still, my dear,
Till a’ the seas gang dry.

我的好姑娘，多么美丽的人儿！
请看我，多么深挚的爱情！
亲爱的，我永远爱你，
纵使大海干涸水流尽。

Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi’ the sun:
I will love thess till, my dear,
While the sands o’ life shall run:

纵使大海干涸水流尽，
太阳将岩石烧作灰尘，
亲爱的，我永远爱你，
只要我一息犹存。

And fare thee well, my only luve!
And fare thee weel, a while!
And I will come again, my luve,
Tho’ it ware ten thousand mile.

珍重吧，我唯一的爱人，
珍重吧，让我们暂时别离，
但我定要回来，
哪怕千里万里！

 

李清照 – 聲聲慢
LI Qingzhao – Lyrics to the Adagio of Resonance

尋尋覓覓，冷冷清清，
淒淒慘慘戚戚。
乍暖還寒時候，
最難將息。
三杯兩盞淡酒，
怎敵他、晚來風急？
雁過也，正傷心，
卻是舊時相識。

滿地黃花堆積。
憔悴損、如今有誰堪摘？
守著窗兒，
獨自怎生得黑？
梧桐更兼細雨，
到黃昏、點點滴滴。
這次第，怎一個、愁字了得！

Li Qingzhao (Chinese: 李清照 1084 – ca 1155), pseudonym Yi’an Jushi (易安居士), was a Chinese writer and poet in the Song dynasty  She is considered as one of the greatest woman poets in Chinese history.

Translated by 林语堂：

So dim, so dark,

So dense, so dull,

So damp, so dank,

So dead!

The weather, now warm, now cold,

Makes it harder

Than ever to forget!
How can a few cups of thin wine

Bring warmth against

The chilly winds of sunset?
I recognize the geese flying overhead:

My old friends,

Bring not the old memories back!
Let fallen flowers lie where they fall

To what purpose

And for whom should I decorate?
By the window shut,

Guarding it alone,

To see the sky has turned so black!
And the drizzle on the kola nut.

Keeps on droning:

Pit-a-pat, pit-a-pat!
Is this the kind of mood and moment.

To be expressed

By one word “sad”?

 

 

郭沫若《天上的街市》

远远的街灯明了，

好象闪着无数的明星。

天上的明星现了，

好象点着无数的街灯。

 

我想那缥缈的空中，

定然有美丽的街市。

街市上陈列的一些物品，

定然是世上没有的珍奇。

 

你看，那浅浅的天河，

定然是不甚宽广。

我想那隔河的牛郎织女，

定能够骑着牛儿来往。

 

我想他们此刻，

定然在天街闲游。

不信，请看那朵流星，

那是他们提着灯笼在走.

 

The Street Market in the Sky

Guo Moruo

Faraway street lights light up

just like countless sparkling stars.

From the sky stars come into sight,

as if a myriad of street lights.

 

I think in the ethereal sky,

there must be a beautiful street market.

Items on display in the market

certainly are treasures not found here.

 

Look! The shallow Milky Way

must not be very wide;

the Cowhand and the Weaver Girl

surely can ride cows to meet.

 

I think they, at this moment,

are strolling along the sky streets.

Don’t believe me? See that shooting star!

It is the lantern they are holding

while walking around.

 

 

 

徐志摩的《偶然》：

我是天空里的一片云，

偶尔投影在你的波心——

你不必讶异，

更无须欢喜——

在转瞬间消灭了踪影。

你我相逢在黑夜的海上，

你有你的，我有我的，方向；

你记得也好，

最好你忘掉，

在这交会时互放的光亮！

 

For Li Qing Zhao
by Anna Yin

I cup your shadow
with blue fire;
across the ocean,
the wind tastes more salty.

The white is whiter,
and whiter…
the cold is colder,
and colder…
In the early autumn,
I fail to explain to those
who read your poems in accents.

They chase me with questions―
how we Chinese women,
footsteps no sound,
hairbun so high,
shy away from strangers.

Well, clouds are overhead.
I catch ink drops
on my skin―
a trace of moon.

 

笑的种子（李广田）

把一粒笑的种子
深深地种在心底，
纵是块忧郁的土地，
也滋长了这一粒种子。

笑的种子发了芽，
笑的种子又开了花，
花开在颤着的树叶里，
也开在路旁的浅草里。

尖塔的十字架上
开着笑的花，
飘在天空的白云里
也开着笑的花。

播种者现在何所呢，
那个流浪的小孩子？
永记得你那偶然的笑，
虽然不知道你的名字。

Smile Seed by Li Guang Tian

 

Photos for Aug 2, 2017: Our Stories/Co-creating project, Spoken Words workshop led by Dave Silverberg  and Haiku and Shape Poetry  by Anna Yin. Thanks Hunter for photos. Thanks CCNEWS for reporting…  

Video interview